Paradigms Need to Be Shifted

A couple of years ago, I attended a series of classes led by Dr. Robert Lewis from Little Rock, Arkansas, called “Men’s Fraternity.” Actually, Dr. Lewis was not in attendance, but through technological advances, his seminar was presented on DVD. 


The core topic of the class was to improve our lives at work and home – whether we were single, married, or engaged. The thing I most remember about the seminar was the idea that we, as men, had to have a paradigm shift: “In order to live more than you can imagine, you have to die a little,” said Lewis. Without going into the theological aspects of this paradigm, let me just explain what the statement means: Take marriage. If a man really wants to win big points with his wife, then he should try cleaning the house. (That’s just one example, but it’s a good one.) When the wife gets home from work, she’ll realize he cleaned the house. Even though he hated doing it, the reward(s) will far exceed his expectations. Thus, he needed to “die a little,” or do something he really didn’t want to do,  in order to “live like more than he ever imagined.”


When people who don’t already know about the benefits of “social networks” are invited to join anyon-line network, they usually ask, “What’s in it for me?” That’s not always the case, but more often than not, it is. They can’t seem to understand that their paradigms need to be shifted.

Typically, we, as humans, are taught that our needs come first. “We need to look out for number one because nobody else is going to.” That’s not the case in social networking. In fact, in many groups the members derive such a “shot in the arm” from the free exchange of knowledge and sharing, that the “payment” for such services comes in a form of Personal Realization; members realize that they are contributing value to the community, and that in itself is enough for them. They just want to give!

However, the majority of people in the world unfortunately don’t have this mindset: we first think, “What can I get out of the time I spend on-line or on this network?” Only after our initial needs are met, do we stop to think about helping others achieve their dreams.

How ’bout it?

Explore posts in the same categories: grammar, networking, relationship economy, social networking, Web2.0

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